Hey you! Ma’am! Ma’am I have to ask you: Where can I meet with the manager of this enclosure? Where is that son of a gun? I ordered a pacifier from him the other day and for some reason, I got a carton of eggs in the mail. What service is this? What business do you thing you guys are running? I paid my good, hard earned money for that stupid thing and this is how you repay me? I don’t even have a child. I bought that pacifier to clog a hole in the wall of my washroom. It’s located right in front of the toilet and for some reason, water just randomly jets out of it. I swear, I will be having explosive diarrhea when a vat of polar cold water will just shoot me in the face. I got whip lash the last time that happened, AND IT’S ALL YOUR FAULT. YOU IDIOTS THINK YOU CAN COME AND PLAY IN MY TOWN, HUH? YOU THINK A CARTON OF EGGS WILL SUFFICE MY NEEDS? WELL YOU WERE WRONG. YOU COULDN’T BE MORE INCOMPETENT. Go, explain yourself. I have a plate of warm hummus just waiting for me when I get home. I don’t even dip that shizzle. I eat spoonfuls of it. I vacuum it up. The process is so quick that one second, I will be looking at that big, shmexy plate and then the next, IT WILL BE IN MY GASTROINTESTINAL TRACT, YOU NUT. I WANT MY PACIFIEEEEERRRRRRRRR!!!!1!!!!!111!!!!!!

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P.O Box: Joana Ceddia
P.O. Box 35532 York Mills Plaza
North York, ON
M2L2Y4
CANADA

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With love,

Jindy Crawford

 

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